Dead and Delicious
Release Date: July 17, 2017
Two zombies and one skeleton on a road trip to Vegas to kill a witch, stop an apocalypse, and rescue their friends from the belly of a shadow dragon.
Nothing weird about that.
Five things I learned while being a fallen angel zombie:
1. Duct tape works better than embalming.
2. Alopecia is not my favorite hairstyle.
3. Fried demons smell like bacon.
4. This brain breath is affecting my love life.
5. Nothing ruins a honeymoon like an apocalypse.
Our elevator had dropped us off smack in the middle of what could have only been described as an undead battlefield. We were in an old cemetery shrouded in a thin mist and faintly illuminated by moonlight. Gravesites had been unearthed and tombstones turned to rubble while grims and ghosters decapitated demonic creatures that came at them from all sides. And was it just me, or was it uncommonly hot for early spring in Seattle?
Margo Styles, a ghoster on the elite Alpha Squad, who looked like a Barbie and screamed like a banshee, shoved a big-ass machete into my arms. “Arm yourself.” She drew in a deep breath before driving a hatchet into some pale creature’s skull.
My stomach roiled when his brain exploded in a fountain of green ooze, splattering Margo’s face. I wasn’t crazy about Margo, and I’d wanted to dump a plate of caviar over her snooty head a time or two, but I wouldn’t wish a mouthful of demon sludge on my worst enemy.
Aedan pushed me behind him, slicing off a demon’s head before I had a chance to blink. The rest of the ghosters on my squad somehow found weapons and were joining in the action. I spun in a slow circle, nearly dropping the heavy machete on my foot. I could barely lift it. How the hell was I supposed to cut off heads with it? All while wearing a wedding gown and heels.
I ducked under Aedan’s arm as he decapitated a demon with spikes coming out of his skull. “Margo, what is happening?” I hollered, unable to keep the shrill rattle out of my voice.
“I don’t know,” she said between grunts, driving her blade into a scaly creature’s torso, “but all hell’s broke loose.”
A tall shadow fell over us, and I peered up at the commander of the ghosting squadrons. Shadow, a formidable ghoster, was made even creepier by me knowing he’d once been controlled by a powerful demon.
“Shadow,” I cried. “Please tell me what’s happening.”
“Delta squad.” He frowned at me, waving to Sarge and Aedan. “You take the west end. Whatever you do, do not let them leave the cemetery.” He handed Sarge and Aedan walkie-talkies.
So like a man to talk over the woman, but now wasn’t the time to get into a sexism debate. I reminded myself Shadow had died 150 years ago, back when women were still swooning from tight corsets and battery-operated dildos hadn’t been invented yet, so we kind of had to take shit from men.
I shrieked when a demon head catapulted past me, spewing blood all over my wedding gown. Dammit! Now I was pissed! I dropped the machete and yanked a blade out of a demon’s back, shook off the blood, and marched alongside my husband. So much for my white wedding. Guess that was my karma for trying to pass as a virgin.
Tara West writes books about dragons, witches, and handsome heroes while eating chocolate, lots and lots of chocolate. She's willing to share her dragons, witches and heroes. Keep your hands off her chocolate.
Tara West's young adult and new adult romances have been Kindle bestsellers. A former high school English teacher, Tara is now a full-time writer and graphic artist. She enjoys spending time with her family, interacting with her fans, and fishing the Texas coast.